I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. I’m literally just so fucking stuck, I don’t know what to do anymore.
I have no one.
I have nothing.
I am no one.
I am nothing.
I literally feel as if I have no friends. I feel untalented. I feel as if I amount to nothing. I can barely do a 25 question math assignment without breaking down and wanting to just lay in bed and cry. I’m sick of feeling worthless and I’m sick of wishing there was something more out there for me because I’m starting to feel as if there is nothing. I can barely sleepover at someone’s house without starting to feel some sort of anxiety, how will I endure going to college away from home? I can’t stay here, but I can’t go away.
Things have always been kind of shitty for the most part, but I wish I could go back to when things were less shitty. When I didn’t have to think about how to socialize, I just did. When I used to enjoy the activities I did and found some sort of release from them. When I used to feel loved and like I was worth something.
Sick of consistently feeling second best everywhere I turn
I’m so angry at my existence. I’m not smart or funny or popular or drop dead gorgeous or talented in anything. Like literally, I don’t fit in with anyone and I’m just bitter about everything all of the time and it’s like there isn’t anything I can do about it just because I’m naturally not good at anything. I’ve never been first place in anything or won anything or gotten anything I really wanted in my life and it fucking kills me. I’m probably going to end up making minimum wage just like my parents and struggle financially my whole life and never be amazing at anything. It hurts so much to watch the people around you succeed while you’re just sitting there worrying about how you’re going to survive even living.
I wish I could be honest with you, but for now, “I’m fine,” will just have to do
As cute as it is for my family to text/call me and for my parents to come up and hug me, it’s making me extremely uncomfortable. I’m just really confused as to why it makes me uncomfortable. Am I uncomfortable with myself, or do I have a right to be uncomfortable?
Depression is ruining everything for me. I find myself questioning whether or not I truly want to be living anymore. I would never kill myself, but if I could just go to sleep and not wake up, would I be OK with that?
someone wake me up when i no longer feel so numb
I will never be that person someone needs.
i am done putting up with your shit.
i just really need to talk to someone, but i have LITERALLY no idea how to talk to anyone.
you’re right. i am insecure, but it’s not like you’re doing anything to help my insecurities.
crying for no apparent reason is always fun.
i just want to feel like someone needs me. not like needs me to survive, but would be affected if i were to just up and leave. i want to feel like someone actually cares about me.
What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff—I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That’s all I’d do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all.
I feel numb. I feel like I ruin everyone’s fun and I set myself up for failure. I’m just not a social person anymore and I have to learn to accept that… I’m just scared for what that means for my future.